Bodies
by lyrictheloser
Summary: The Big Three wake up to a surprise. Their bodies have been switched. All hell breaks loose. (Perse x Hades), (Poseidon x Athena), (Zeus x Hera). Summary's bad... story is slightly better.


"Bro, I don't know about you but I feel a little- AHHHH!" Poseidon screamed, looking into the face of, well, himself. "WHY AM I YOU?!" Hades' mouth dropped as he looked at his skin. "Where's my pale complexion? WHO IS ME?" he panicked. Zeus walked into the room, yawning from lack of sleep.

"Can we be a little quieter? Hera and I had a late night doing what I know-"

he stopped. "Wait a second... something isn't right here. Who is this handsome devil that isn't me?" Zeus realized what was happening and gasped. "Wait... am I Hades? THIS MEANS I CAN'T FUCK HERA! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME, YOU BITCH? DO YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME?"

Hades scoffed, "Shut up. Look, I'm obviously not too happy being stuck in someone's body, especially one who rules the ocean. Oooh, I'm so scared."

"Don't you mock my powers!" he gasped, mocking his same tone, "Look at me, I'm Zeus. I'm so powerful with my thunderbolts. Don't touch my Hera or I'll zap you from existence."

Hades rolled his eyes as Zeus became increasingly offended. "Listen, I don't want to hear anyone's sass, alright?" He looked at Zeus. "I swear to the gods, if you demean me in any way while you're stuck in my body I'll cut your limbs off and hit you with them."

"This could be worse," Poseidon interrupted, "And my fishies will hopefully still be alright. I can still... oh no. Don't hurt my babies," he eyed Hades. The three of them stared at each other, still quite surprised. "You know what?," Zeus smiled, looking at his former body, "I think I'm pretty damn hot." Hades and Poseidon mused at their former bodies, agreeing with Zeus' statement.

"We need to do something about this. I don't wanna be in this body forever. I can't stand this. Who's gonna do the do with Hera? It sure as hell isn't gonna be one of you."

"Ugh. Can you stop thinking about Hera and having sex with her for two seconds? I'm tired of your whining. Why don't we figure out why we're in different bodies and fix it." Zeus pouted, looking into the room Hera was sleeping in.

"Actually, this could be kinda fun," Poseidon said, "Do you know how much we could confuse everyone around here? I could actually do something with Hera other than sex," he teased.

"What did I just say about touching my woman?" Zeus uttered.

"Relax, Lightning Boy. She might actually want a break from you."

Zeus, completely outraged, slammed his fist against the wall. "I don't want to play games! I don't care what you and fuckface do, but I need my body back! What's Hera gonna think? How am I supposed to rule if I'm stuck without my powers?"

"I'm gonna take this as a miracle. While this lasts, why don't we all confuse everyone? It'd be hilarious. Come on, this'd be the prank of the century!" Poseidon chimed in.

"And Zeus, just chill out. There's obviously nothing you can do, so just leave it alone, alright? I don't wanna hear you complain about it all day," Hades muttered.

"Hey babe, you look so sexy today," Zeus said, smiling at her.

"You better not talk to me or Zeus is gonna murder you," she retorted.

"Don't worry about that, babe. He already knows," he winked.

"Zeus?" Hera called, walking away from who she knows as Hades, "I think we need a talk about that threesome idea you had before..."

Poseidon pushed Zeus out of the way and smiled. "Yes, my darling?"

"Yeah uh... um... when you said threesome I didn't mean..." she trailed off.

"Don't worry, I'll keep him out of your way." Zeus cracked his knuckles out of rage. "How about we do something fun today?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Don't do anything with her! I didn't say that was cool!" Zeus whispered angrily.

"I didn't want to be a manwhore, but look at me now!" he whispered back. Hera stared at them, obviously very confused.

"Who are you calling a manwhore? All you talk about is fish!" Hades laughed to himself, thinking of a genius idea while they argued. He saw Athena and smiled.

[Athena's POV]

"Hey Athena," Poseidon said, smiling widely.

"Hey! We haven't talked in so long... like this. How are you?"

"Mmm, I'm fine, babe. How 'bout yourself?" I thought about this. Should I say I'm great? He's actually talking to me! I might have a chance with him. He's so tan and muscular, oh my.

"I'm... great," I stuttered.

"I think you look pretty cute today," he admitted, staring at me with those beautiful blue eyes. HELP. HE JUST SAID I LOOKED CUTE. IS THIS HAPPENING? Get a grip. He's just playing with you. But... he's so... hot.

"Thank you. You look... pretty attractive yourself," I replied, "Uh... Hades? What are you doing?"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Hades whispered at Poseidon, "why are you flirting with her?!"

"I'm doing you a favor. Now if you'll excuse me, let me talk to this beautiful woman." I blushed.

"She's not beautiful! I hate her! You know that! She hates me too. We're enemies," Hades whispered violently.

"Hades, we aren't enemies," I assured him, "I think you're pretty cool." Poseidon looked at me with an expression of complete confusion.

"Anyway, to get out of this train wreck of a situation, I'd like to ask you something," Poseidon said, looking directly at me.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Would you want to go to dinner with me? My treat."

"Like a... date? Poseidon, are you okay?"

"Better than ever. Please?"

"Yeah, sure," I responded, "but can we do something a little fancier than McDonald's this time?"

"The best for you," he smiled. I smiled back. This can't actually be happening. He hates me! And why does Zeus look so upset about this? Why is he not attached to Hera? Who cares? I have a date with Poseidon!

"I'm glad you punks haven't messed with my life yet," Hades joked.

"I almost forgot," Zeus threatened, walking towards Persephone.

"Wait, what are you doing? Why are you walking towards her?" he called after him.

Zeus smirked, lightly tapping Persephone's shoulder from behind. "Persephone!"

"Hades, I'm kinda busy right now," she responded.

"No no no," he started, "Come here babe." She looked at him concernedly, acknowledging his existence. Zeus smiled, nudging her closer to him by lightly pulling her waist. He tilted her head back slightly. Hades budged in between them hastily.

"Hey... Hades. I need to have a little talk with you," he muttered.

"Wait a second, I have something important to do," he smirked. Cupping her cheek, Zeus kissed her passionately, making sure to have Hades notice. Persephone, shocked a couple seconds before, became much more fond of the situation she was in. She smiled, lightly pushing against him. She continued to kiss him until an idea popped into her head.

"Hey there, don't let this turn into a Zeus and Hera kind of thing," she joked. Zeus snickered. Poseidon laughed at himself.

"Oh, hey! Why are we talking about me?" Poseidon announced.

"Who let in the water boy?" Hades muttered.

"Zeus isn't...?" Persephone trailed off.

"Don't worry babe," Hades interrupted.

"Since when were we dating, Poseidon? Didn't you just hook up with Athena? Thank god that's finally over with." Poseidon coughed awkwardly. Hades rolled his eyes.

"Never mind. And right? It's about time I realized how much Athena likes me."

"She doesn't like me!" Poseidon insisted, becoming annoyed.

"Yeah... Athena doesn't like Zeus. I thought you knew that," Persephone mumbled. Poseidon almost began to argue but stopped himself.

"Listen, I thought we'd do something kinky... how do you feel about pegging?"

"Shut up!" Hades yelled, pushing Zeus out of the way. "Do you want me to talk to Hera that way?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure she's into it..."

"You're hopeless," he rolled his eyes.

"Poseidon is like a big, nice, dumb puppy!" Zeus changed the subject.

"I am not!" he announced, "I'm a perfectly normal puppy." Persephone laughed nervously, looking at who she believed was Hades. "I'm thinking this is some kind of... guy problem. I'm gonna go. And I'll talk to you about pegging later," she smirked. Zeus shuddered.

"Can we pretend yesterday didn't happen?" Zeus asked.

"Maybe. But I still have a date with a girl I hate and Hades still has to have the pegging talk with Persephone." Hades and Poseidon sighed audibly at the same time. "Yeah, let's forget yesterday happened," Hades responded.

"Athena wants a lunch date, by the way. She has some things to do later. And Aphrodite wants to talk to you about that one show still."

"Is it a show from shark week?" Poseidon's eyes glimmered.

"Yeah, that's probably it." Poseidon smiled widely.

"Zeus, Hera was really horny last night and I had to practically peel her off of me. You're welcome."

"My baby! I have some catching up to do," he smirked, "I'll be back in an hour... or more."

"So... pegging?" Poseidon reminded him.

"I don't want to talk about this with you," he mumbled.

"I see how it is," Poseidon pouted.

"Athena really does like you, though."

"She does not! Can you people stop bugging me about it? She looked so disturbed when you asked her out too! This is going to be a train wreck. Why would you do this?"

"You got it easy, kid. I gotta talk to Perse about why I want to be able to sit down for the next week."

"Heh. True."

"You have thirty minutes to get ready for your date. I suggest you get ready, you oblivious puppy." Poseidon decided to restrain himself. He knew Hades was right.

Poseidon had no idea what to wear. He didn't want to go on a date with Athena. I mean... why would he? She's gross. He picked out a Hawaiian shirt and set it out on his bed. Thinking twice, he put it hung it back up and took out a nicer dress shirt. "It's a nice lunch," he repeated to himself as he buttoned up his light blue dress shirt. In the back of his mind, he knew he didn't want to let her down.

After the most awkward walk with an absence of conversation, Poseidon opened the door for her. "After you," he coughed. He swallowed to clear his dry throat and walked after Athena. The waiter guided them to a table and they sat down in silence

"I should have probably... did the chair thing... shouldn't I have?"

"No no no, you're fine," she smiled, swirling the water in her glass with her clear, plastic straw.

"That color... looks nice on you. You look nice."

"Thanks. I've been saving it for a special occasion." Poseidon drank his water in an attempt into not commenting. "I hate her. I really hate her," he told himself.

"You seemed like you really wanted to do this yesterday. It seems like you changed your mind," she laughed nervously.

"Well um... yeah. It wasn't really my idea." Athena stopped stirring her water. "Oh no! I didn't mean it like that. I mean... that's what happened... but I'm not upset that I'm on this date with you! I think you look really nice."

"We don't have to do this. I feel a little awkward too," Athena said, forcing a smile.

"No. Stay, please. I actually... like this." Athena smiled widely.

"I uh... I like this too."

After ordering, Poseidon looked at her and lost himself. He noticed how pink her cheeks were naturally. And how her hair always fell down in the perfect place. He liked her small hands and her blue eyes. He watched her lips move as she spoke, admiring how soft they looked.

"Poseidon?" Athena asked.

"Yeah? What? Sorry, I was just... thinking about something. Duty things. Man stuff." She laughed. "I just asked you how you've been doing and you looked like you were contemplating how to kill me and hide my body."

"I'm good. Like I said, manly stuff. Lots of manly stuff."

"Okay, okay," she said between giggles.

"I'm not actually hungry, surprisingly," Poseidon admitted.

"Big breakfast?" she guessed, sipping her water.

"No," he smiled, "Nervous, I guess." Athena blushed slightly.

"Who's idea was it, if it wasn't yours?"

"Well... you know. Just some guys. That doesn't matter. I'm not mad at them anymore."

"Well, I'd be. I wouldn't wanna go on a date with my enemy either."

"But... you are," Poseidon said, slightly offended.

"That's because I want to be."

After some time, Poseidon realized what his feelings were for Athena. Surprisingly, they weren't hatred. He felt a connection with her. When he looked at her, it was no longer anger. Instead, it was longing.

"Well, Poseidon, I'm surprised on how nice this was. I really enjoyed this," Athena admitted, setting her fork down.

"I... really enjoyed this too. Maybe we could, you know, do this again sometime."

"Certainly. Besides, I wouldn't mind going on another date with someone as caring as you."

"Oh shush," he began, "I'm quite honored, actually, to go on... to have the privilege of going out to a fancy lunch with you."

"Same to you." She thought for a second. "Are we still enemies?"

"Of course not. I'd like to think of us as much closer than that."

"How close?" she teased.

"Close enough to do this," he said, running his tongue along his bottom

lip. Instantly, they were in a lip-lock. Athena smiled as she felt his hand against her neck and kissed back more passionately than she had intended to. _This is it,_ she thought to herself, _this is what I've been waiting for. This is happening._ She tilted her head back, getting a quick glance of his green eyes. _He's stunning. He's what every girl would look for, and he's on a date with me!_

Poseidon looked at Athena and thought about the way her lips

moved against his. _This is ridiculous. I'm supposed to hate her. I do... I totally... hate her._ The broke their touch, looking at her.

"I don't hate you anymore..." he admitted.

"I don't hate you either. I actually like this a lot."

"Well, _this_ probably shouldn't be happening in the middle of a

crowded restaurant. We wouldn't want people staring, especially since this is our first date. Heh. First date. Anyway, I wouldn't mind continuing this again another time. How about this weekend?" he suggested.

"Sounds great. I'll see 'ya later, Poseidon."

"Same to you."

Everything seemed normal when Poseidon and Athena came back, except for the absence of Hades and Persephone. Poseidon laughed to himself.

"What's so funny?" Athena asked.

"Well, Hades said something a little... out of the ordinary yesterday, and I have a feeling Persephone is talking to him about it right now. Or... doing it right now."

"What did he say?"

"Oh, nothing. Just something he'd never say. Don't worry about it." He opened the door to Hades' room.

"Yeah, she's in there. I'd leave 'em alone."

"Okay," Athena said, slightly interested on the conversation. Inside the room, however, wasn't going as well.

"So, you're saying you actually like the idea of pegging?" Hades asked, sitting on the end of his bed.

"I mean, I think I'd want to try it. Especially if I'm upset with you."

"That wouldn't be the only thing that'd be upset," he hinted.

"What do you mean?"

"Like, my ass requires the feature of sitting."

"Oh, don't be a baby."

"In council meetings, I can't stand up the whole time and tell everyone that I can't sit down because my ass hurts because we were pegging and I got sore."

"Well, you stick your dick in my mouth and I don't complain!"

"Hey, you like it."

"Yeah... yeah. That's true. Anyway, I think we should try it."

"Not in a million years."

"I can wait," she joked, sitting on the bed next to him.

"I don't want to do it. Stop joking around. I'm the one with the dick." Persephone laughed, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"We'll see about that."

"Sounds like they're having an intense conversation," she joked, "It must've been something pretty deep."

"You could... say that," Poseidon joked. "Instead of the plans this weekend, can we do them today?"

"I'm kinda busy with some things."

"Yeah... that's okay. We can do that stuff some other time."

"But," she said, "I can cancel them." Poseidon smiled. He could feel himself falling for her already, but he decided to hide it. _Not too fast,_ he thought to himself. Later in the day, things got a little more... interesting.

"So... you hated me for a long time, didn't you?"

"You did too. It's not like I wouldn't be mad at you. Two instances, Poseidon."

"Mmm... won't happen again."

"Good. Anyway, let's not talk about that right now. Let's let that go for the moment. I'm hungry again, actually."

"It's not my fault you ate a salad. How are you supposed to stay full for four hours off of leaves?" Athena rolled her eyes.

"Let's get some food! There's this really good pizza place I know of and I'm sure you'd like it too," she interjected.

"Pizza isn't what I'm hungry for, actually."

"What, do you want something like chinese?"

"Nah, try again," he smirked, hovering on top of her. She blushed.

"Indian?"

Poseidon smiled weakly and kissed her neck, trailing his fingers down her right shoulder. He paid attention to the small freckles that dotted her arms and the way she kept so still whenever he came close.

"So... are we gonna like... do it?" she asked, sounding too serious.

"Not yet," he said distractedly, "There's a reason why they say that you should save the best for last." Poseidon kissed her again, much more deeply this time. "Let's get you some pizza, and after, I might teach you a thing or two."

"Is that a promise?"

"If you want it to be."

"So you promise that Hades doesn't want to have a threesome with us? Because I'm not really... into that."

"You're not into a threesome with Hades, but you're into pegging?"

"Shut up about that. That's for special times. Besides, he acted a lot like you which is pretty terrifying. Don't let him touch me."

"Chill, babe. Ain't nobody gonna touch you but me anymore."

"And in bed the other night. Why didn't you wanna have sex with me? I was so horny and you pushed me away!"

"Good."

"What?"

"Nothing. I um... I felt a little sick. Sorry I acted so weird. We can do it anytime you want. You know I'm always in the mood."

"What about now?" she insisted. He laughed.

"After you, babe."

Hades was scared. Hades was beyond scared.

"How can I talk you out of this?"

"You can't. We're doing this right now."

"No we aren't!" he protested, backing up to the corner of the room, "I want to be able to sit! This isn't how I wanted to spend my afternoon!"

"You're the one who brought it up."

"You're delusional! Insane, even!"

"Baby, nooooo."

"Baby, yes!" he screeched, tackling a lamp in a desperate attempt to flee from certain doom. He sprinted down the hallway, not daring to look behind him. After running passed the first hallway, he made an immediate left turn and continued to scream as he ran through the hallways.

"What's all that screaming about?" Hera asked Zeus, propping the door open slightly. Almost instantly, Hades came barreling down the hallway.

"Didn't you say we weren't doing the threesome? Because Hades is screaming down the hallway, completely naked."

"No! We're not! I don't know what he's doing." Zeus rushed to the door.

"Yo, put some clothes on!" In the distance, he heard a distant cry for help.

"DEMETER. DEMETER, DEMETER, HI! PLEASE PROTECT ME! PERSEPHONE IS A MANIAC AND SHE WANTS TO PUT THINGS IN MY BUTT."

"What? Why don't you have clothes on?"

"It's a long story. Just don't let her touch me!"

"Okay, okay," she said, slightly distracted by his body. "Uh... what do you need me to do?"

"Tell her not to touch me," he pouted, standing almost directly behind her. "Should I put my shirt back on? Mmm, that's a good idea."

"No, don't! That's a... sign of weakness! I'll protect you. Don't worry."

"You're a lifesaver," he sighed. She smirked to herself.

Persephone met Demeter and Hades in the hallway after checking all the rooms he passed.

"He's being a baby. We were about to have sex and he ran away."

"Ohhh. That would explain why he's so... naked."

"That isn't sex!" he stammered, stepping out from behind her, "That's torture! I never agreed to any of it."

"What is he so scared of?" Demeter asked.

"Pegging! It's not that bad, is it? He's being a big baby."

"I'm with Hades here," she glanced at his body again, "That sounds pretty painful."

"Everyone's a critic," Persephone grumbled. "Fine. Maybe we can do this another time."

"Never. We are doing that _never_. Thanks again, Demeter. I owe you one."

"Don't mention it. Anything for a friend," she mused.

[Demeter's POV]

I didn't know what to think. You can't blame me for looking! Hades was running towards me, completely naked. What would you expect me to do, not look? Shield my eyes from that fine piece of ass?

"Yo, put some clothes on!" I heard Zeus scream, catching my attention. I figured he wouldn't be yelling at Hera because he prefers her clothes off.

"DEMETER!" I heard Zeus shriek, seeing me on the side of the hallway. "DEMETER, DEMETER, HI! PLEASE PROTECT ME!PERSEPHONE IS A MANIAC AND SHE WANTS TO PUT THINGS IN MY (suggestive region)." Persephone? I didn't think she was into that kind of stuff. But god damn, Hades was _fine._

"What? Why don't you have clothes on?"

"It's a long story. Just don't let her touch me!"

"Okay, okay," I stutter, trying to focus on his body above the waistline. "Uh... what do you need me to do?"

"Tell her not to touch me," he pouted, standing closely behind me. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. "Should I put my shirt back on? Yeah, I probably should."

"No, don't! That's a... sign of weakness! I'll protect you. Don't worry." Hah, yeah. That was _totally_ a sign of weakness. Demeter: 1, Hades: 0. And he's still naked.

"You're a lifesaver," he sighed. I smirked while he was still behind me.

Persephone caught up to Hades and I in the hallway after she checked every room. _Damn, she really wanted that ass of his,_ I thought to myself. I didn't blame her.

"He's being a baby. We were about to have sex and he ran away." _Yeah, that explains why Hades is naked and afraid._

"That isn't sex!" he stammered, stepping out from behind me, "That's torture! I never agreed to any of it."

"What is he so scared of?" I asked.

"Pegging! It's not that bad, is it? He's being a big baby." _Um, ow?_

"I'm with Hades here," I took a quick glance at his body once more, "That sounds pretty painful."

"Everyone's a critic," she grumbled. "Fine. Maybe we can do this another time."

"Never. We are doing that _never._ Thanks again, Demeter. I owe you one."

"Don't mention it. Anything for a friend."

"Oh, one more thing. I see you checking out Hades. Don't think you're so sly."

"I would never!" I gasped, glancing at him again. Hades looked at me. I think he was deciding if he wanted to put his shirt back on. Good thing he didn't.

"You just were! God, I just wanted to have a good time. Hades, come on. We still have time to kill."

"Well, I wanted to save my ass from destruction and I think I did a pretty good job." I snickered. _Anything for a friend._


End file.
